Who is Jake?

[Darren]

Who is this fellow some of you have been mentioning? Is he a friend of Morrissey?

Thanks,
Darren

[brutalful]

In the public eye he was Morrissey's Bodygaurd on the Arsenal (?) tour. Then he appeared on a few single sleeves, was written about (most likely) in "Sunny" and .........In the "rumoured, everyone knows but wont say to Mozzy's face," way...

Mozzy's boyfriend.

[Mr. So&So]

I'm sorry brutaful, I don't mean to be such a "know-it-all," but it appears you have been mislead.

I know from a completely unreliable source that Jake is actually Morrissey's astrologist, and has been for many years now.

There has never been, and will never be a relationship between the two of them.

Their signs are completely incompatible.

The reason for the appearent closeness, is the fact that throughout the past four years, Jake has counciled Morrissey on not appearing at certain scheduled engagements; sighting the fact that he might not like them, and quite possibly would hate them.

This soothing friendship is responsible for saving the Mozzer from doing things that he obviously would not want to do, or would only do, because he felt he had to.

It amazes me that people always have to bring the homosexual element into it.

Can't someone have an astrologer of the same sex without such obvious implications being tossed about?

Well, I just hope this answered your question Darren.

The Moz is lucky to have such a prophetic friend in his camp, or we would have suffered the intolerable likelihood of him actually keeping his scheduled engagemnets.

Thank you,
The man who wrote this reply

[DIETER DIXON]

> Who is this fellow some of you have been mentioning? Is he a¿ friend of Morrissey?¿ Thanks,¿ Darren

To the best of my knowledge Darren, Sir Walters was most definately the reason Mozzy cancelled part of his Boxers tour here in the states trust me my seats would have been excellent at the Olympic Auditorium. I guess even Mozzy gets dumped... I do believe he is quite a hard person to deal with professionally, but romantically it must be much like shotting yourself in the foot. The man can turn his emotions on & off like the kitchen faucet, or so I've been told...

[DIETER DIXON]

¿ I know from a completely unreliable source that Jake is actually¿ Morrissey's astrologist, and has been for many years now.

He should look for new work if that's true Mozzy's career is going down the tubes as we speak... But I guess you didn't have to be a astrologist to see that one coming

[Lifeguard Sleeping]

> I know from a completely unreliable source that Jake is actually¿ Morrissey's astrologist, and has been for many years now.¿ There has never been, and will never be a relationship between¿ the two of them.¿ Their signs are completely incompatible.

Astrologist, eh? Sooo....was this career change before or after his boxing stint and heroin addiction (assuming Sunny is, indeed, about him)?

[Mr. So&So]

Oh Jake has been fascinated with Astrology ever since he was a small boy.

He used to astound his school-mates by having them drop their trousers, so as to observe the type of underwear they had draped beneath; and if it had any great affect on their aura.

Some people thought him to be a sham, but after speaking to my unreliable source, I felt that the trick indeed would only work best when performed on his closest of pals.

Also, he was never a heroin addict.

He was actually addicted to rubber cement, not heroin as the song "Sunny" suggests.

It obviously doesn't hold as much romantic weight as piercing your skin with a needle, or having a jean belt wrapped around your neck -- I mean arm!

"Oh with a tin-can held up to your nose, Oh Sunny my heart goes out to you...."

Those were the preliminary lyrics of choice.

Do you really blame him for embellishing the subject matter?

Although, I do believe he was truly torn up about it.

-So&So

[brutalful]

Yes you are Blind, No you cannot see....

Right...astrologer.

Please let me apologise, I must have been mis-lead!
PPPLLLBBBT!!!:-P

[Your Evil Twin]

Since some people have already adequately answered the question, I just want to say how glad I am that there are finally people on this website who ADMIT it...perhaps the repressed (and not-so-repressed) homophobia around here is becoming a thing of the past. So Morrissey likes to have a certain piece of anatomy stuck inside him...why do some people have a problem with that?


Mike Patton is HOT... (http://www.fantomas.net)
http://www.fantomas.net/pictures/mp1nyc7198.jpg

[brutalful]

So Morrissey likes to have a certain piece of anatomy¿ stuck inside him...why do some people have a problem with that?

I dont have a problem with it, except, it spoils my (and many others') girlhood dream of having him one day look into my eyes and fall desperately in love. So i like to stick to the Celibacy clause. Its good to keep dreams, regardless of the impossibility!

[Colin]

So Morrissey likes to have a certain piece of anatomy¿ stuck inside him...why do some people have a problem with that?
--------
I find myself making these same kind of posts every few weeks, but here goes. Moz is not gay. Nor is he straight. Nor is he bisexual. He is sexual on an individual basis. It may be that he'll never declare a preference, because he has problems with the idea of a broad, over-arching idea of "sexuality." It's hard enough to find one person attractive, let alone everyone else who happens to share that person's gender. Moz is just messed up. It would be intersting to psychologically deconstruct his past for signs of looming sexual disfunction - the influence of the Church, the beauty of both his mother and sister, the manly athleticism of his father, the "scissors/Jackie's George Best poster" incident, his teenage crushes, his early sexual experiments, the effect of serious feminist literature, the influence of the Manchester gay scene and his time spent with Linder and James Maker, his relationship with Angie and Johnny Marr, etc. If Julia Kristeva was a Morrissey fan, I'm sure she'd jump at the chance.

[Still wearing his Docks]

So Jake Walters was intoother boys during his Early Burglary Years?
So that makes Moz some sort of Oscar Wilde character.................
I guess he should join NAMBLA and meet others like himself so he could replace Jake Walters in his life. Maybe this could redraw Moz's
career to a new direction.

[Lifeguard Sleeping]

Re: including a Mike Patton website to you post:

Wow!! Thanks so much for the pic! I used to be a HUGE FNM fan and was rightfully obssessed with Mike Patton - even met him once...sort of.

I heard about the band, Fantoma, but haven't really kept up with him because, frankly, it's just a tad too bizarre for my taste, these days. I mean, I dug the whole Mr Bungle and John Zorn trip, but then he lost me....

PS: In my unsolicited opinion, I truly believe Morrissey when he talks about how LITTLE he does the "wild thang" and how he's resigned to a life without much fulfillment in the ways of relationships - I honestly don't think he's being coy. And, about his "homosexuality," the man has maintained that he's beyond gay or straight as labels - I think he's had at least a couple of female companions in his past. The bottom line is that we all need love, people!! (I promise I won't break into a Beatles medley).

[Suzanne]

¿ I find myself making these same kind of posts every few weeks,¿ but here goes. Moz is not gay. Nor is he straight. Nor is he¿ bisexual.

so, what you're saying is he's a trisexual who is also enamoured with hermaphrodites as well.

[Lifeguard Sleeping]

> Oh Jake has been fascinated with Astrology ever since he was a¿ small boy.¿ He used to astound his school-mates by having them drop their¿ trousers, so as to observe the type of underwear they had draped¿ beneath; and if it had any great affect on their aura.¿ Some people thought him to be a sham, but after speaking to my¿ unreliable source, I felt that the trick indeed would only work¿ best when performed on his closest of pals.¿ Also, he was never a heroin addict.¿ He was actually addicted to rubber cement, not heroin as the¿ song "Sunny" suggests.¿ It obviously doesn't hold as much romantic weight as piercing¿ your skin with a needle, or having a jean belt wrapped around¿ your neck -- I mean arm!¿ "Oh with a tin-can held up to your nose, Oh Sunny my heart¿ goes out to you...."¿ Those were the preliminary lyrics of choice.¿ Do you really blame him for embellishing the subject matter?¿ Although, I do believe he was truly torn up about it.¿ -So&So

A humorous posting!! You're right: those lyrics wouldn't have been quite so thought-provoking. Thanks for the laugh.

(Uh....you ARE joking about the whole thing, aren'tcha? And please don't call me dim-witted - I'm just very gullible!)

[Mr. So&So]

I CERTAINLY AM NOT!

I have the utmost faith in the unreliable.

Especially when they're my friends.

An unreliable friendship is easy to find nowadays, and I am not willing to let mine go over some petty, true rumor.

As for being gullible, I find that to be a quality that's missing in humanity nowadays.

The willingness to believe someone, even when you know they are lying.

And we consider ourselves advanced creatures....

I don't buy it.

Even if I believe it.

-So&So

[Lifeguard Sleeping]

The title of your post begs the question: are you an admirer of EM Forster? If so, I think I'm in love.

[Mr. So&So]

I am only slightly familiar with this person.

I once admired him but he wouldn't have me.

I instead had to lift the line from Samuel Beckett's "End Game."

Apparently one was an admirer of the other.

Which makes true the statement: "Pilfering is the sincerest form of admiration."

Or something like that.

-So&So

[The Anal Intruder]

Colin, you're a sad little sh*t. Morrissey's a homo.¿ So Morrissey likes to have a certain piece of anatomy¿ --------¿ I find myself making these same kind of posts every few weeks,¿ but here goes. Moz is not gay. Nor is he straight. Nor is he¿ bisexual. He is sexual on an individual basis. It may be that¿ he'll never declare a preference, because he has problems with¿ the idea of a broad, over-arching idea of "sexuality."




Mike is more of a man than "Moz" will ever be. (http://www.fantomas.net)
ftp://ftp.cv.org/pub/pictures/fantomas/981031conductor.jpg

[Colin]

> so, what you're saying is he's a trisexual who is also enamoured¿ with hermaphrodites as well.
--------
no.

[Lifeguard Sleeping]

> Colin, you're a sad little sh*t. Morrissey's a homo.
LABELS! Morrissey is NOT a "homo." To be a "homo" would mean that a) you ONLY have (or have had) sex with your own gender, and b) you HAVE SEX. I can only go by what Morrissey coyly tells us, so I'd have to assume that both these conditions don't apply to him (for the most part)

BTW: that caption you've included underneath Mike Patton's picture disturbs me. Just what exactly did you mean by that? I'm sure Mike wouldn't agree with you - did you know Roddy's gay? (duh)

[The Anal Intruder]

Um YEAH, I know a hell of a lot more about Roddy than you could ever pretend to...get over yourself. Also, your definition of "homo" isn't terribly informed...in fact it's pretty damn far from true. Many, if not most, homos have had some sexual experience with women, and still definite themselves consistently as gay.

If you think Morrissey hasn't had sex, you're kidding yourself.
Maybe you're one of those naive, young new fans...¿ LABELS! Morrissey is NOT a "homo." To be a¿ "homo" would mean that a) you ONLY have (or have had)¿ sex with your own gender, and b) you HAVE SEX. I can only go by¿ what Morrissey coyly tells us, so I'd have to assume that both¿ these conditions don't apply to him (for the most part)¿ BTW: that caption you've included underneath Mike Patton's¿ picture disturbs me. Just what exactly did you mean by that? I'm¿ sure Mike wouldn't agree with you - did you know Roddy's gay?¿ (duh)




RuPaul is more of a man than "Moz" will ever be. (http://www.fantomas.net)
ftp://ftp.cv.org/pub/pictures/fantomas/981031conductor.jpg

[Lifeguard Sleeping]

> Um YEAH, I know a hell of a lot more about Roddy than you could¿ ever pretend to...get over yourself.
Lemme guess: you're a close, personal friend of the man. Well, just about everyone in this freakin' room can claim the same with Morrissey, can't they? Who the heck would know? Yet you felt the need to brag. You, sir, should get over YOUR self. In your f-ed up logic, would RuPaul be more of a man than Roddy could ever be?¿Also, your definition of "homo" isn't terribly informed...in fact it's pretty¿ damn far from true. Many, if not most, homos have had some¿ sexual experience with women, and still definite themselves¿ consistently as gay.
I'm in my 20s and live in the latter part of the 20th century - I'm quite aware of what a "homo" is, thank you. I just don't believe in the strict meaning of the word - sexuality is something that goes beyond labels and homo and hetero are not mutually exclusive terms (in my humble opinion, of course).¿ If you think Morrissey hasn't had sex, you're kidding yourself.¿ Maybe you're one of those naive, young new fans...
I'm sure Morrissey has had more than he's alluded to - I'm not THAT naive. But WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALL THIS???

Getting back to my original beef, your captions are homophobic (using your guidelines for the term) and assume that any man who is homosexual is not a "real man." Is going onto different web pages and insulting their subjects a passtime for you, or do you actually get paid to do it?

[The Silver Bullet]

Ho?!? What the hell is this, the Death Row Records message board? In my world, no one calls a lady a "ho" for any reason. This board is part of my world, and you're in it.

Better think about "intruding" somewhere else, Anal.

--The Silver Bullet.

[Dr. Quinn, Madwoman]

You are SOOOOOOO p.c.
You take yourself a bit too seriously, darling.¿ Ho?!? What the hell is this, the Death Row Records message¿ board? In my world, no one calls a lady a "ho" for any¿ reason. This board is part of my world, and you're in it.¿ Better think about "intruding" somewhere else, Anal.¿ --The Silver Bullet.




Smiling causes wrinkles. (http://www.rotten.com)
http://home.earthlink.net/~rbmann/images/till07.jpg

[Dr. Quinn, Madwoman]

Homophobic! Ha!
You amuse me.


It's hard to get over myself when I'm so damn cool. (http://www.rammstein.com)
http://home.earthlink.net/~rbmann/images/till005.jpg