Worstest Album Covers Ever III

[Codreanu]

Worstest Album Covers Ever III: Worst Album Covers Ever Returns!

Well, it's been almost two years since we posted our first "Worst Album Covers Ever" here at Stone.

You've seen:
Worst Album Covers Ever (http://www.cenedella.com/stone/archives/2003/10/worst_album_cov.html)

You've been horrified by:
Worster Album Covers Ever II (http://www.cenedella.com/stone/archives/2004/02/worster_album_c_1.html)

Now feast your eyes on our latest collection. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:
Worstest Album Covers Ever III (http://www.cenedella.com/stone/archives/2005/07/worstest_album_3.html)

http://img180.imageshack.us/img180/429/cover8ia9.jpg

* * *
And, for more awfulness, don't forget:
The Museum of Bad Album Covers (http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/)

[Busy Clippers]

My fave is Devastatin' Dave the Turntable Slave. I'm going to print that bad boy and use it as the cover of every mix CD I make for the next month. Word to ya mutha!

[chica]

This is quite good, actually!

http://www.cenedella.com/images/album4e.jpg

But this is really SCARY! :eek:

http://www.cenedella.com/images/album8e.jpg

[Busy Clippers]

Ooh, chica, you're right...the second one is wrong in so many ways!!!

[drunken goldfish]

Chica's first one is one of those things that are so horrible you can't stop looking. :eek:

[Bluebirds]

Anyone seen the Scorpions Virgin Killer yet?

[Chartres]

What about these swedish goodies from the seventies?

[Chartres]

And some more... Not only swedish this time.

[chica]

Oh, I wish I could scan the cover of one of my mother's records... It's the sleaziest thing I have ever seen, it's so bad that it actually has some strange appeal :confused:

[drunken goldfish]

^^Your mom had sleazy records? (Why am I not surprised ;) ).

[chica]

^^Your mom had sleazy records? (Why am I not surprised ;) ).
Maybe because yer maw had sleazy records too! :p

[DeliciousDemon]

I kinda fancy this guy named Tino from the Worstest Album Covers Ever I ... if I wasn't already "spoken for" I would definitely date him.

For now I'll concentrate on daydreaming about pinching his cute little ass :p

[drunken goldfish]

^^Your mom had sleazy records? (Why am I not surprised ).

Maybe because yer maw had sleazy records too!

Ah, touche :) . My mom's favorite is Cliff Richard, is he sleazy? ;)

[chica]

Ah, touche :) . My mom's favorite is Cliff Richard, is he sleazy?
Er, I don't know, I've never listened to him... (which probably means YES, considering my impeccable taste :p )

I kinda fancy this guy named Tino from the Worstest Album Covers Ever I ... if I wasn't already "spoken for" I would definitely date him.

For now I'll concentrate on daydreaming about pinching his cute little ass
Quick, somebody call the police! That boy is 15 or something, Demon! You Demon! :D

[Chartres]

I kinda fancy this guy named Tino from the Worstest Album Covers Ever I ... if I wasn't already "spoken for" I would definitely date him.

For now I'll concentrate on daydreaming about pinching his cute little ass :p

:D

As computer people says, "GLHF".

[chica]

:D

As computer people says, "GLHF".
Eh, I hope he wasn't talking about the Great Lakes Hemophilia Foundation, Demon :rolleyes:

[DeliciousDemon]

Eh, I hope he wasn't talking about the Great Lakes Hemophilia Foundation, Demon :rolleyes:

I've found something even more sensless (if that's remotely possible) so decided to maintain my dignity by not asking for an explanation.

In any case, you should be prepared for a brand new album cover. It's similar to the one you picked and it's gonna be me holding Tino's hand in some crappy diner.

The working title is naturally

DeliciousDemon

Tino's sixteenth birthday

BTW that's when sex becomes legal in my country so it's clear what Tino and I are really celebrating ...

[chica]

BTW that's when sex becomes legal in my country
Thanks for the information, Demon, I may find it useful one day :D

And about that birthday - good luck, have fun! :p

[DeliciousDemon]

Thanks for the information, Demon, I may find it useful one day :D


Do what you want but stay away from my Tino! :D

:looks at Tino: *slurp* roaarr

[Pervomartovtsi]

my eyes bleed bad

[Codreanu]

My fave is Devastatin' Dave the Turntable Slave. I'm going to print that bad boy and use it as the cover of every mix CD I make for the next month. Word to ya mutha!
Then you need this (http://download.yousendit.com/D4B31C9827FFDB8D). No top-rockin', body-poppin', mix would be complete without that Sucka MC Devastatin' Dave bustin' rhymes 'bout crack, and breakin' it down to some faux (fO!) Darren Robinson syle "beat-boxin'"! Dope. :p

[Busy Clippers]

Time to break out the parachute pants...

Your Codship, you sir are a genius.

Imagine a room full of indigent rehab clients chanting along to this. They dance, too. I am so sorry I won't be able to film it. :D

[singyourlife]

http://www.cenedella.com/images/album8e.jpg

This is wrong is SO many ways:(

[Kewpie]

Sorry, but why "worstest"?
Because it's worse than worst?:confused:

[Chartres]

Eh, I hope he wasn't talking about the Great Lakes Hemophilia Foundation, Demon :rolleyes:

:D

No, too bad:). "Good Luck, Have Fun".

[Denia]

those crafty Russians...


http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/3395/otgt9.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Codreanu]

Oh, my God!!!

Devastatin' Dave has NEW material! :eek:

listen here (http://www.indie911.com/user_browser?uID=11195).

http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/7013/devastatindaverv6.jpg

note to Busy Clippers: according to his user info, Dave is currently "in a relationship", sorry. :(

:)

[Busy Clippers]

[QUOTE=Codreanu;374822

note to Busy Clippers: according to his user info, Dave is currently "in a relationship", sorry. :(

:)[/QUOTE]

One of my co-workers, three of whom along with me comprise the Devastatin' Dave Fan Club (tropical chapter), had already ascertained this sad bit of news. We're leaning on each other, trying to be strong. Perhaps we'll listen to the new breaks today (dance party!). Thanks, G!

[DeliciousDemon]

Oh, my God!!!

Devastatin' Dave has NEW material! :eek:



http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/7013/devastatindaverv6.jpg

:)

I think this cover is even more hillarious then some we've seen in the worsest album covers ever 1, 2 and 3!

[Codreanu]

Brains for Breakfast, Brains for Lunch: Records That May or May Not Be Hiding Underneath Your Bed
By AMG Staff

Terrifying album art is not relegated to Scandinavian death metal albums alone. The history of carnage has been well documented throughout the annals of popular music by everyone from Edvard Grieg to Michael Jackson, resulting in a rich canon of audio and visual gray matter that has enriched the lives of frustrated teens, tattoo artists, and closet lycanthropes for centuries. From goth to punk, to grindcore, to pop, rock & roll has become the movement's central vein, a middle finger to the unavoidable date with the worms that awaits each and every one of us. For every staged, immaculately coiffed photo shoot involving a heavily tanned performer, a foot stool, and a high school yearbook smile, there's one of G.G. Allin rubbing a salt lick into his bloody chest and stuffing feces into his ear. So, with this museum of malevolence, this collection of cruelty, this hall of horrendousness, let us celebrate the word profane, as it is the little, pissed-off brother of profound.

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=61::6:XP (http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=61::6:XP)

http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/7519/c73863t4e4wqx6.jpg

[Lor]

This one's the scariest...

[Busy Clippers]

phew. I only have three from that last group....

[Codreanu]

Top 25 Worst Album Covers of 2006
Staff List by Ryan Schreiber

Five years after the collapse of Napster, the recording industry still can't stop pissing and moaning about the ill effects of pirated music. Yet, as sales dwindle, the industry continues to make the worst choices imaginable: How slight was the graphic design budget for that Pearl Jam record?

There was so much horrific cover art released this year that I knew I'd have to impose some limits on this list if I expected to narrow it down from more than 100. That meant our usual whipping boys (The Mars Volta, Tool, U2 & Green Day), as well as the general public's (K-Fed, Def Leppard, Winger) were off limits. Divisive artwork (Boys and Girls in America, Ys, and Portastatic's Be Still Please) was left to the message board jackals. And the millions and billions of promo CDs no one will ever know existed? Yeah. Let's just keep it to the stuff we've heard of.

Oh yeah, and thanks to the Pitchfork staffers I lazily nabbed comments and ideas from along the way. You guyz are the best!

These are the 25 worst album covers of 2006!

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/40185/Staff_List_Top_25_Worst_Album_Covers_of_2006


http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/6657/24909mewandtheglasshandol5.jpg

[marilyn manson]

julie's 16th birthday...........

is it a concept album?

all the songs deal with the subject of her birthday?

wow

you don't see that stuff in the record stores anymore

[Dave]

julie's 16th birthday...........

is it a concept album?

all the songs deal with the subject of her birthday?

wow

you don't see that stuff in the record stores anymore

http://www.cenedella.com/images/album8e.jpg

I think they met in a chatroom. The concept, Mr Manson, is LOVE! :eek:
She looks disappointed that he doesn't look like the pictures he sent her. He probably doesn't have a corvette, either. :D

[marilyn manson]

:p

that museum of bad albums covers is amazing

[The Cat's Mother]

Run, Julie, run! :eek:

*dabs eyes*

[drdannyace]

Oh, my God!!!

Devastatin' Dave has NEW material! :eek:

listen here (http://www.indie911.com/user_browser?uID=11195).

http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/7013/devastatindaverv6.jpg

note to Busy Clippers: according to his user info, Dave is currently "in a relationship", sorry. :(

:)

this is surely the hotel in memphis where martin luther king was shot,
hence the "havin' a dream" reference to mlk's "i have a dream" speech
from the night before he was killed ...

in fact,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Martin_Luther_King_was_shot_here_Small_Web_v iew.jpg

[Codreanu]

Ewww, have I found a stinker. :p :o
Aguaturbia (http://img325.imageshack.us/img325/9774/aguaturbiash4.png) (brace yourself)

[Dave]

I think the "nude except for headscarf and sunglasses" look is going to be big this spring! ;)

[bikubesong]

http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/manowar.jpg

Dunno if this has been posted before but...

[nightandday]

But this is really SCARY! :eek:

http://www.cenedella.com/images/album8e.jpg
That's nothing compared to this one!


http://www3.b92.net/ipb_uploads/post-9349-1134568357.jpg

translation of the titles:

When you grow up, son * I've grown up, mother :eek:

[nightandday]

http://www.cenedella.com/images/album10e.jpg

http://www.index.hr/images2/cht7v.jpg

[bikubesong]

THAT's scary. God's Power.. :eek:

[nightandday]

http://www3.b92.net/ipb_uploads/post-9558-1130495693.jpg

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/Aallexa/MITARMIRIC2.jpg



http://www3.b92.net/ipb_uploads/post-8676-1130512137_thumb.jpg

This last one really isn't complete without a translation:

song titles: THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH and RETURN TO MY YOUTH

and the label on the bottle says "muska voda", which means something like 'man's water', or rather 'water of virility'... apparently, it was believed to be a natural viagra. :D

http://www.bhtourism.ba/eng/kladanj.wbsp

[bikubesong]

Wow, soon 1000 posts, should I make you a thread?

[nightandday]

Museum Of Bad Album Covers (http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/index.htm)

mmm, sexy... um, not really :eek:


http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/herbiemann.jpg

http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/ritchiefamilyrear.jpg

http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/otrovzazene.jpg

[bikubesong]

Well, erm this justget worse. I dun think I'll dare open this thread anymore

[nightandday]

Wow, soon 1000 posts, should I make you a thread?
OMG, it is really close! Feel free to do it if you want to.

Here's another one from the Museum of Bad Album Covers:

http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/swampdogg2.jpg

and here's another scary one :eek:

http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/gaydogs.jpg

[marilyn manson]

this is an absolute killer:

http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/1741/heinoxw3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)


i would really be scared if he/she was trapped with me in an elevator :eek:

[Codreanu]

There are some truly awful ones listed here I hadn't seen before.
The Worst Album Covers EVER!! [rateyourmusic.com] (http://rateyourmusic.com/list/fidthekid/the_worst_album_covers_ever__/)

http://img466.imageshack.us/img466/7015/227364xk0.jpg

Is that who I think it is (http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/)? :D

[The Cat's Mother]

Oh, these are classy! I'm off to search out some Cannibal Corpse vinyl and wall-mount the covers.

Baltimora's 'Tarzan Boy' cover star is slightly Morrisseyesque, isn't he? :D And speaking of Morrissey, did you know that somewhere on LiveJournal, there's a version of Babybird's pregnant bloke with Morrissey's head photoshopped onto it?

[duchess_of_fork]

http://www3.b92.net/ipb_uploads/post-9558-1130495693.jpg

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/Aallexa/MITARMIRIC2.jpg



http://www3.b92.net/ipb_uploads/post-8676-1130512137_thumb.jpg

This last one really isn't complete without a translation:

song titles: THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH and RETURN TO MY YOUTH

and the label on the bottle says "muska voda", which means something like 'man's water', or rather 'water of virility'... apparently, it was believed to be a natural viagra. :D

http://www.bhtourism.ba/eng/kladanj.wbsp

dear nightandday
you remind me of times when i used to live in Serbia
I think we should just show them an album cover of Jelena Karleusa, the tranny, or Ceca, the woman who was not informed of the invention of "the bra"...
...or anyone on Grand TV.....or Pink (i think Pink still exsists doesn't it? i think i saw it last summer).
but those you posted are amazing
As long as Djordje balasevic isn't on the list...because he's classy...i'll be fine.

[nightandday]

dear nightandday
you remind me of times when i used to live in Serbia
I think we should just show them an album cover of Jelena Karleusa, the tranny, or Ceca, the woman who was not informed of the invention of "the bra"...
...or anyone on Grand TV.....or Pink (i think Pink still exsists doesn't it? i think i saw it last summer).
but those you posted are amazing
As long as Djordje balasevic isn't on the list...because he's classy...i'll be fine.
When did you live in Serbia?

Yes, TV Pink is very much alive, and doing as well as ever...:rolleyes: And sadly, some other TV stations are starting to look a bit like it, even those you'd never expect (read: B92 :eek: ).

I took those covers from another forum (www.b92.net), there is a similar thread about Worst album covers: http://forum.b92.net/index.php?showtopic=9336&hl=millie&st=60 You can find many goodies there.


http://www.uzivomuzika.com/Zlata%20i%20Beki%20-%20Sine%20Sine%20-%20prednja.jpg

http://www.uzivomuzika.com/Predrga%20Dimitrijevic%20Ferari%20-%20Ferari%20kolo-prednja.jpg

[Dave]

http://robsog.typepad.com/robsog/images/swede.jpg

Look out! He's got an ax!

[Walkers Crisp]

this is an absolute killer:

http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/1741/heinoxw3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)


i would really be scared if he/she was trapped with me in an elevator :eek:


HEY, our HEINO is cult here in Germany. A true hero. Schwarzbraun ist die Haselnuß!! And this is one fantastic album cover!!!

[Walkers Crisp]

http://img238.imageshack.us/img238/8817/coversgermandinnerhz4.jpg

höhö

[Walkers Crisp]

http://img238.imageshack.us/img238/306/coverskinderfresserfa4.jpg

[Walkers Crisp]

http://img68.imageshack.us/img68/2494/coverkevinrowlandbk9.jpg


:eek:
I always liked "Dexy's Midnight Runners", but what's this???

[Walkers Crisp]

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/6527/coversdiefrivolenfnfgx2.jpg

ok. last one. i promise.
(what a fun thread anyway...)

[Cassius]

http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/millie.jpg

[Codreanu]

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/1103/555203su4.jpg

http://rateyourmusic.com/release/album/gore_gore_gays/gore_gore_gays__demo_/

[bikubesong]

^^^:eek: That's real? Im not sure if im old enough to see that :eek:

[Codreanu]

Think of it as the perfect aural foreplay to that Handsome Beasts record (http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/handsomebeasts.jpg).

http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/299/heavypettingzoosg8.jpg

If you think that's bad, you haven't seen the lp version (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_Lamb_(NOFX_LP)). :eek:

[bikubesong]

YOU
or
They
or
both

=

Sick :p

[Codreanu]

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you... BizarreRecords.com!

http://www.bizarrerecords.com/index.html (http://www.bizarrerecords.com/index.html)


http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/9324/wittyasf3.jpg

Somewhere in your parents' house lurks a pile of old records. They're probably in the cabinet next to the wet bar that's been dry since your mother hosted that Tupperware party in 1982. Maybe you chide the folks for owning them when you return for a visit, making knee-jerk gibes at the handlebar mustaches, leisure suits and ironed hair that their sleeves depict. Silly hipster, there are fates much worse than your dad's dog-eared copy of Whipped Cream and Other Delights. Browse through bizarrerecords.com and you'll see.

Created by Nick DiFonzo of Houston, Bizarre Records is an arsenal of twisted and downright embarrassing album covers. At its best, bizarrerecords.com is the embodiment of kitsch, a scrapbook of matching outfits, latent homosexuality and big hair.

According to DiFonzo, the idea for the site grew out of his disdain for LP collector dorks in thrift stores who thumbed past these jewels, only slowing down to make the occasional perfunctory quip. DiFonzo snapped up the albums, scanned them and arranged them on a primitive, GeoCities-like website. Later this year, New Holland Publishers plans to adapt the site into a book, "Worst Album Covers Ever."

The albums are listed in alphabetical order, with an additional greatest hits-style listing on the main page. Time permitting, visitors should dive into the unabridged, alphabetical listing. Some of the albums have such added goodies as sample audio clips and a "Where Are They Now?" feature, which allows a reader to witness a record's aging process at its worst (and best). It's not a bad idea to skip over the latter feature, as it can spoil the fun; somehow you assumed these artists were frozen in a moistened-lens, wide-collar dimension, only to find out that they grew older with you, and are probably standing behind you in line at Target.

The majority of the artists on Bizarre Records lack notoriety, but you'll recognize a few familiar faces. Perennial weirdo Tammy Faye Bakker faces off nose-to-nose with a lion in Run Towards the Roar, Rodney Dangerfield graces the cover of his seminal album Rappin' Rodney and former heavyweight champion Muhammad Ali meets his match in Ali and His Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay. One of the most striking covers is the :20 Minute Workout, which features a writhing vixen on all fours. DiFonzo's commentary alleges this is a young Jane Leaves, who plays Daphne on "Frasier".

It's easy to feel guilty for laughing at a few of the records. Take Gary Dee Bradford Sings for You and You and You. Released when Bradford was a young boy, the album cover looks like his school portrait gone wrong, with his drooping eyelid and a mouthful of crooked yellow teeth. Click on the "Where Are They Now?" feature and you'll learn the story of a boy born with no arms (the cover hides this fact) who turned to music and Jesus for strength. Cue the guilt. When your conscience kicks in and you realize you've been laughing it up at this armless boy's expense, the album takes a nosedive on the kitsch scale and becomes a grim reality. That an armless boy could have the gumption to make an album is more than anything most of us ever achieve.

To its detriment, Bizarre Records indulges in a certain amount of glib, obvious commentary regarding its content. Like an anxious date who ruins a joke by over-explaining the punchline, the captions are superfluous and annoying. For instance, John Bult's album Julie's Sixteenth Birthday is so clearly hilarious that we don't need the accompanying caption: "Why do I see Julie's father outside, about to bust in with a shotgun?..."

Like the Corn Palace in Mitchell, S.D., Bizarre Records is worthy of a one-time visit, perhaps while waiting for the pizza delivery man to show up. Unless you're a music archivist working in the bowels of a university library during summer break, subsequent visits aren't necessary. Nevertheless, it will sear many indelible images onto your visual cortex. You'll take sinister pleasure in mocking the outmoded styles of past generations, despite the leather wristbands, Uggs and faux hawks currently plaguing our country, not to mention several characters on "The OC." But if you're wise, you'll concede that it's OK when the music of your upbringing slowly recedes into the dark past. And by the time the ball drops on 2010, Smells Like Children will be ripe to replace Joyce on lists of dated art from forgotten albums. Lighting aside, the only real difference between them is the direction of their cocked heads — Marilyn to the right, Joyce to the left.

~ Andrew Harmon, Flak Magazine


http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/2985/preachercarlaep1.jpg

http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/7640/pizzaarq6.jpg

[Cassius]

Remember kids:

http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/reddfoxxwashyourass.jpg

[Busy Clippers]

http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/6339/buddhistpriestbenackermoe7.jpg

yeah, I know it's not real. But what is "real," anyway?

[Codreanu]

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/4721/o297698aos1.jpg

I'm going to blow the lid on what I believe to be one of the greatest cover-ups in the history of American popular music. I'm going to do it right here, right now, in this very review. I'm putting my life at risk by writing this. No doubt one of the most powerful men in show business will be out to silence me after I publish this, and I'm sure he'll stop at nothing to do it. So, to all of my friends on this site, if you don't hear from me after this, I'm either dead or in deep, deep hiding. Well, that or I may just be drunk in my garage.

Here it is:
Michael Jackson ripped off Scott Baio's album cover.

Shocking, isn't it?

Not only do I believe Jackson ripped off the cover from this album for his blockbuster album Thriller, I believe he's led a covert campaign to cover up his tracks. Don't believe me? Try to buy this record. It's hard to find. When you do find it, it's expensive. I found one on ebay selling for $50. Why is it so rare? It can't be because it's such a great record that people can't bear to part with it. Trust me, if you heard it you'd be ready to part with it. I've never heard a singer approach a note from so many different angles without ever actually hitting it, and the songs are mind-boggingly awful. No, I believe it's tough to find because for years Michael Jackson has secretly been buying and destroying every copy of Scott Baio that he can get his hands on. It's probably cost him millions of dollars and driven him to the brink of bankruptcy, but he's been fairly successful at it. There is no proof of this, of course, but if you talk about this album with record dealers they will invariably tell you stories of mysterious masked men buying up every copy they've had in stock.

Both albums were released in 1982. Thriller was released in December and Scott Baio came out in . . . well . . . we don't actually know. It's all part of the cover up. I believe we don't know exactly when Scott Baio was released because Jackson has been secretly obscuring the facts surrounding the album for years. There was probably some Watergate-style break-in at RCA Records and all records of the album's existence were destroyed.

That's right, all evidence points to Michael Jackson having his own plumbers.

Now, for any crime to be committed, two things are required: motive and opportunity.

Motive:
Scott Baio was a child/teen star. No more needs to be said about that point, I imagine. He was very popular not only with the preteen girls of the era, but he's always been something of a ladies man. He's dated Pamela Anderson, Erika Eleniak, Nicole Eggert, Brooke Shields, and Heather Locklear, among others. Michael Jackson wasn't yet the coolest man on the planet. He was looking to Baio for guidance regarding chick appeal, obviously. If Baio made an album cover laying on one elbow, then Michael should do that too. I'm guessing Jackson was planning on stealing more than just the cover, but once he got a whiff of "Wanted for Love" he must have realized he was better off just taking the cover concept.

Opportunity:
Scott Baio was recorded at Motown/Hitsville USA in Los Angeles. Of course, Jackson began his career as a Motown artist. No doubt he had friends in that studio, and it's likely that they slipped him a pre-release copy of the record. It may have been an innocent thing. "Hey Michael, you've got to hear this crap Baio's been recording. He sings like a dying albatross." Or, it may not have been so innocent. Who knows, but clearly there was opportunity.

Well, there I've done it. I'm sure Michael Jackson will be sending his henchmen after me to both silence me and acquire my copy of Scott Baio by whatever means necessary. They'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

http://rateyourmusic.com/release/album/scott_baio/scott_baio/

[nugz]

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/4721/o297698aos1.jpg

I'm going to blow the lid on what I believe to be one of the greatest cover-ups in the history of American popular music. I'm going to do it right here, right now, in this very review. I'm putting my life at risk by writing this. No doubt one of the most powerful men in show business will be out to silence me after I publish this, and I'm sure he'll stop at nothing to do it. So, to all of my friends on this site, if you don't hear from me after this, I'm either dead or in deep, deep hiding. Well, that or I may just be drunk in my garage.

Here it is:
Michael Jackson ripped off Scott Baio's album cover.

Shocking, isn't it?

Not only do I believe Jackson ripped off the cover from this album for his blockbuster album Thriller, I believe he's led a covert campaign to cover up his tracks. Don't believe me? Try to buy this record. It's hard to find. When you do find it, it's expensive. I found one on ebay selling for $50. Why is it so rare? It can't be because it's such a great record that people can't bear to part with it. Trust me, if you heard it you'd be ready to part with it. I've never heard a singer approach a note from so many different angles without ever actually hitting it, and the songs are mind-boggingly awful. No, I believe it's tough to find because for years Michael Jackson has secretly been buying and destroying every copy of Scott Baio that he can get his hands on. It's probably cost him millions of dollars and driven him to the brink of bankruptcy, but he's been fairly successful at it. There is no proof of this, of course, but if you talk about this album with record dealers they will invariably tell you stories of mysterious masked men buying up every copy they've had in stock.

Both albums were released in 1982. Thriller was released in December and Scott Baio came out in . . . well . . . we don't actually know. It's all part of the cover up. I believe we don't know exactly when Scott Baio was released because Jackson has been secretly obscuring the facts surrounding the album for years. There was probably some Watergate-style break-in at RCA Records and all records of the album's existence were destroyed.

That's right, all evidence points to Michael Jackson having his own plumbers.

Now, for any crime to be committed, two things are required: motive and opportunity.

Motive:
Scott Baio was a child/teen star. No more needs to be said about that point, I imagine. He was very popular not only with the preteen girls of the era, but he's always been something of a ladies man. He's dated Pamela Anderson, Erika Eleniak, Nicole Eggert, Brooke Shields, and Heather Locklear, among others. Michael Jackson wasn't yet the coolest man on the planet. He was looking to Baio for guidance regarding chick appeal, obviously. If Baio made an album cover laying on one elbow, then Michael should do that too. I'm guessing Jackson was planning on stealing more than just the cover, but once he got a whiff of "Wanted for Love" he must have realized he was better off just taking the cover concept.

Opportunity:
Scott Baio was recorded at Motown/Hitsville USA in Los Angeles. Of course, Jackson began his career as a Motown artist. No doubt he had friends in that studio, and it's likely that they slipped him a pre-release copy of the record. It may have been an innocent thing. "Hey Michael, you've got to hear this crap Baio's been recording. He sings like a dying albatross." Or, it may not have been so innocent. Who knows, but clearly there was opportunity.

Well, there I've done it. I'm sure Michael Jackson will be sending his henchmen after me to both silence me and acquire my copy of Scott Baio by whatever means necessary. They'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

http://rateyourmusic.com/release/album/scott_baio/scott_baio/

hahahaha. that's funny. and i LOVE Scott Baio :o:p ...seriously.

[SNS22]

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri000/i028/i02861hpujn.jpg

Over commericalism...

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd800/d895/d89506dm544.jpg
15 years later....same mistake...

Thank God they never gave this guy a record deal...

http://www.belowthebeltshow.com/images/btbboys/chachi/bud.jpg

[Oh my god, it's Bobby!]

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/2056/103078qg8.jpg

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/2357/103074tq5.jpg

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/108/103075dr1.jpg

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/4325/103077kv9.jpg

[the more you explore me!]

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/2056/103078qg8.jpg

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/2357/103074tq5.jpg

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/108/103075dr1.jpg

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/4325/103077kv9.jpg

what do you think of 'the Partridge family', Bobby?

[Codreanu]

http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/8555/aaail2.jpg

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/3420/bbbyr2.jpg

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/6831/cccef0.jpg

http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/7643/dddjp0.jpg

[Codreanu]

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/209/visionsofheavenpj6.jpg

[Codreanu]

http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/8739/morrisseyfirstofthegangbh4.jpg

Oh c'mon, you know it's true. :mad:

To be sure, it has nothing on Julie's Sixteenth Birthday or Devastatin' Dave the Turntable Slave, but neither of those could have been done by an eight year old with Photo Magic.

[meat_is_murder19]

http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u168/overthier123/7-1man.jpg

http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u168/overthier123/3-1.jpg

[Not Right in the Head]

http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u168/overthier123/3-1.jpg

OMFG. I had to look that up to see whether it was real. It was. How ironic, given your handle :)

[Buzzetta]

Resurrecting an old thread....
Does this qualify? Don't hassle the Hoff....

http://static.rateyourmusic.com/album_images/3954.jpg

[Codreanu]

I came across this truly abhorrent cover on someone's blog; I encourage no one to click on the link below. Seriously, it's that bad. :(

Hey babe, let me see your USB (http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/6598/megogq1.jpg)
(probably not safe for work, though no superior would
ever admit to having found this image in your cache)

[the more you explore me!]

I came across this truly abhorrent cover on someone's blog; I encourage no one to click on the link below. Seriously, it's that bad. :(

Hey babe, let me see your USB (http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/6598/megogq1.jpg)
(probably not safe for work, though no superior would
ever admit to having found this image in your cache)

You say don't touch....and what do i go and do:(

[Busy Clippers]

You say don't touch....and what do i go and do:(

shocking.

[almareallymatters]

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u258/almareallymatters/41ZyQBb8OtL__SS500_.jpg

Bjork's Volta album

[Kewpie]

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u258/almareallymatters/41ZyQBb8OtL__SS500_.jpg

Bjork's Volta album


I don't think it's a bad cover, but very unusual because it's Bjork who is expected to be very unconventional. ;)

[lilikoi]

http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/worst-album-covers/14-1.jpg
http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/worst-album-covers/41-1.jpg
http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/worst-album-covers/53-1.jpg
http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/worst-album-covers/95-1.jpg

[Coiffeur_En_Flame]

http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u258/almareallymatters/41ZyQBb8OtL__SS500_.jpg

Bjork's Volta album

I love that cover! It also happens to be a very good record. :p

Coiff.

[almareallymatters]

I love that cover! It also happens to be a very good record. :p

Coiff.

Don't get me wrong...I love the album...but the cover is a bit BONKERS...even by Bjork standards!

[Codreanu]

http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/6239/51nt10kgmelsa3.jpg
Jay Reatard - Blood Visions

[Codreanu]

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/8268/125440119a65c4fa182lp9.jpg

http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/4475/135285082eddb183578st7.jpg

http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/5451/1352850786c17ff9f34ow8.jpg
^George Costanza???

http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/4121/128688571d33b7330c9lm9.jpg

[Codreanu]

http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/4497/6m9sellinandhandyin5.jpg
6majik9 - Sellin and Handy

[Cassius]

I came across this truly abhorrent cover on someone's blog; I encourage no one to click on the link below. Seriously, it's that bad. :(

Hey babe, let me see your USB (http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/6598/megogq1.jpg)
(probably not safe for work, though no superior would
ever admit to having found this image in your cache)

And of course I clicked on it. :(

[Cassius]

http://photos5.flickr.com/5950796_0a9f8fcb31_m.jpg

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00002R0SE.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/8739/morrisseyfirstofthegangbh4.jpg

Oh c'mon, you know it's true. :mad:

To be sure, it has nothing on Julie's Sixteenth Birthday or Devastatin' Dave the Turntable Slave, but neither of those could have been done by an eight year old with Photo Magic.

I risk shunning, banning, or worse, but I stand by my assertion that the Quarry era sleeves suck so bad I'm ashamed of Moz. I know, I can see the look he was going for, but whoever he hired to design them FAILED. Tiny little changes, little tweaks, better font choices perhaps, more diligent typesetting... such a little thing makes a big difference.

Sorry, Moz. I love ya, but you need to hire competent designers.

[Codreanu]

http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/5581/aaboyxl7.jpg

click here (http://www.tomwilsonweinberg.com/images/aaboy.jpg) for larger size (it's worth it)


http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/9487/earicksonjoniic2.jpg

http://img129.imageshack.us/img129/4214/discorickkc0.jpg

http://img112.imageshack.us/img112/6941/boystbv5.jpg

[Codreanu]

http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/5955/barracloughnj9.jpg

http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/2399/barraclough2ft0.jpg

7ZTJkHqDtQU

[XxX0▲0XxX]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51RPHM23M7L._SS500_.jpg

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/415EP1QTV5L._SS500_.jpg

post some

[Hellie]

I want to know how to pronounce your username.:p

[Not Right in the Head]

I want to know how to pronounce your username.:p

"Troll"?

[almareallymatters]

"Troll"?

And not a very original one either!

http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=63437&highlight=worst+album+covers+ever

[XxX0▲0XxX]

"Troll"?

AHEM :rolleyes:

it's unpronounceable, like Prince's alternate name/symbol.

[still I cling]

I wasn't sure where to post these album cover parodies...so just enjoy! :D

http://i.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/12-28-07-albums/hatfactory.jpg

This one really made me laugh:

http://i.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/12-28-07-albums/bonne-chance.jpg

[Dow Jones]

I love that SA post hehe. One of my favorite Photoshop Phridays.

[Corrissey]

The Wiggles are bad ass

[still I cling]

yup, and Moz knows pimpin' aint easy.

[Buzzetta]

http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/superman.jpg