greasetea
January 16, 2001, 03:37 AM
2001
-Morrissey releases "Hardcore Swans", a collection of B-sides and one unreleased song "Beds are Burning" (Not the Midnight Oil song).
-Morrissey and band separate citing a ZAch De LaRocha type fued her Moz disputes the color of the limited edition vinyl should be red while Boz wants orange.
-In an ironic note, Moz replaces Zach as the NEW lead singer for Rage Against the Machine.
2002
-Rage Against the Machine disbands and Morrissey is approached to be the Fourth lead singer for Van Halen. He agrees.
-Eddie Van Halen fires Morrissey for pulling a hissy fit when Hamburger Helper is served amongst the catering van. "It was low fat ground beef!" Halen cries.
2003
-Genesis announces Morrissey as their New lead singer.
-Invisible Touch 2003 turns out to be no Sussudio and Morrissey leaves the band.
-The Morrisseytour.com girls pledge their celibecy to Morrissey by having their uteruses removed. Unfortunately the incompetent surgeon removes liver and stomach by accident. Both die instantly much to the relief of a bunch of Morrissey fans.
2004
-The rumored Smiths reunion occurs with only Morrissey being the original member coming back for Live Aid 2004. The rest of the lineup is Peter Hook on bass, David Gilmour on guitars and Superstar DJ Keoki on drun machines and moog.
-INXS announces a tribute album with Moz providing lyrics for "New sensation." Boz plays on backing track. This is the first time both speak since the Gary Day incident of 2002.
2005
-Morrissey takes the biggest dump of his life and notices that even his $hit stinks.
2006
-Morrissey becomes the first musician to own part of "Planet Hollywood." "I don't eat my friends," Morrissey says. "I make money with them."
2007
-Morrissey in a fit of rage finally breaks down and shops at The Gap for a pair of denims. It looks good.
-Morrissey joins the WWF as snobbish ENglish wrestling manager "Mighty Pip". Quits when one wrestler tries to sexually assault him.
2008
-Marr and Morrissey make amends and releases "Summer Snow and fries", a horrible barbershop quartet album.
-Morrissey marries Monica Lewinsky and purchases the bones of John Lennon.
-Morrissey is rumored to sleep in a weird carbon dioxide tank with pure crystal filtered oxygen.
-Morrissey rebuts rumors of seeing a plastic surgeon.
-Morrissey now looks like a young Dusty Springfield/Nico..strange.
2009
-Morrissey dies of a rampaging cow unleashed on the streets of Los Angeles.
-Boz Boorer, pallbearer, accidentally drops the coffin on himself and gets crushed to death.
-Gary Day and Alain Whyte open up a Ben and Jerry's type of Ice Cream store. "Sardines" and "Cherry Tampon" prove to be unpopular flavors. Both are choked to death by their ice cream.
-Spicklez Smith runs the Morrissey-solo.com site.
-Morrissey releases "Hardcore Swans", a collection of B-sides and one unreleased song "Beds are Burning" (Not the Midnight Oil song).
-Morrissey and band separate citing a ZAch De LaRocha type fued her Moz disputes the color of the limited edition vinyl should be red while Boz wants orange.
-In an ironic note, Moz replaces Zach as the NEW lead singer for Rage Against the Machine.
2002
-Rage Against the Machine disbands and Morrissey is approached to be the Fourth lead singer for Van Halen. He agrees.
-Eddie Van Halen fires Morrissey for pulling a hissy fit when Hamburger Helper is served amongst the catering van. "It was low fat ground beef!" Halen cries.
2003
-Genesis announces Morrissey as their New lead singer.
-Invisible Touch 2003 turns out to be no Sussudio and Morrissey leaves the band.
-The Morrisseytour.com girls pledge their celibecy to Morrissey by having their uteruses removed. Unfortunately the incompetent surgeon removes liver and stomach by accident. Both die instantly much to the relief of a bunch of Morrissey fans.
2004
-The rumored Smiths reunion occurs with only Morrissey being the original member coming back for Live Aid 2004. The rest of the lineup is Peter Hook on bass, David Gilmour on guitars and Superstar DJ Keoki on drun machines and moog.
-INXS announces a tribute album with Moz providing lyrics for "New sensation." Boz plays on backing track. This is the first time both speak since the Gary Day incident of 2002.
2005
-Morrissey takes the biggest dump of his life and notices that even his $hit stinks.
2006
-Morrissey becomes the first musician to own part of "Planet Hollywood." "I don't eat my friends," Morrissey says. "I make money with them."
2007
-Morrissey in a fit of rage finally breaks down and shops at The Gap for a pair of denims. It looks good.
-Morrissey joins the WWF as snobbish ENglish wrestling manager "Mighty Pip". Quits when one wrestler tries to sexually assault him.
2008
-Marr and Morrissey make amends and releases "Summer Snow and fries", a horrible barbershop quartet album.
-Morrissey marries Monica Lewinsky and purchases the bones of John Lennon.
-Morrissey is rumored to sleep in a weird carbon dioxide tank with pure crystal filtered oxygen.
-Morrissey rebuts rumors of seeing a plastic surgeon.
-Morrissey now looks like a young Dusty Springfield/Nico..strange.
2009
-Morrissey dies of a rampaging cow unleashed on the streets of Los Angeles.
-Boz Boorer, pallbearer, accidentally drops the coffin on himself and gets crushed to death.
-Gary Day and Alain Whyte open up a Ben and Jerry's type of Ice Cream store. "Sardines" and "Cherry Tampon" prove to be unpopular flavors. Both are choked to death by their ice cream.
-Spicklez Smith runs the Morrissey-solo.com site.