Morrissey's biggest secret.

[Math Tinder]

He's actually incredibly technologically proficient, none of this 'internet' thing fazes him in the slightest, it was probably him and not 'bantown' who hacked livejournal 'for the lolz' back in January (he originated the term 'lol'), and, upon request, he could build a robot acceptably resembling himself +capable of singing his songs.

Not the last two obviously, but think about it. I don't mean it in the context of the email leak (which obviously does not suggest amazing internet proficiency) although that's what made the topic cross my mind. Suppose Morrissey is still holding secret genius - or any real secret. We feel like we know him pretty fully at this point right?

Post what Morrissey's biggest secret is, the one he has kept so well that _no one_, at least virtually no one, has ever even suspected it. Something about Jake or whatever, if true, would be one of the not-best-kept secrets; what is the secret that is the opposite of that?

What do you suspect about Morrissey that _really_, nobody knows? Mine is that he's a devil with a computer.


love
math+

ps- if you feel like answering would be to 'invade his privacy' somehow, then naturally don't answer

[Musings]

I suspect:

...That he's as addicted to this website as all of us.

...That he frequently scours it with a fine-toothed comb himself, and comes up with contrived personalities to post on here with, just to throw us off the scent, heh, heh.

...That he's human just like all of us.

[dallow_bg]

He still secretly longs to have big, greasy hair while fronting the best band (in his opinion) he's ever been in, The Nosebleeds.

[Math Tinder]

...That he's human just like all of us.

Your first two are great; this last one is not a secret though, it's probably his most famous lyric in fact. :)

love, math+

ps- dallow good show, that was hilarious

[mjp]

[quote=Musings]I suspect:

...That he's as addicted to this website as all of us.

...That he frequently scours it with a fine-toothed comb himself, and comes up with contrived personalities to post on here with, just to throw us off the scent, heh, heh.

quote]

Seriously, I believe these to be true!

There have been many times when peopl have signed up, given us their 15 posts of fame then disappeared again, never to return.

[realitybites]

He is secretly married to Julia Riley and plans to apply for US citizenship next year. (He married her for the papers, of course, but she thinks otherwise.) :D

[Dupree]

Moz starts the day with a nice greasy fry up and every Sunday, he and Mr Marr go round his mum's for a nice home cooked roast.

(Urgh, I gag as I write this...no joke)

[andy_fozzy]

Moz starts the day with a nice greasy fry up and every Sunday, he and Mr Marr go round his mum's for a nice home cooked roast.

(Urgh, I gag as I write this...no joke)

And for a quick shag with Julia........

:D

[Suzanne]

"wide to receive" was a real love song to somebody he met on the internet.

[++++++]

Two words: Fake. Eyebrows.

[dallow_bg]

Two words: Fake. Eyebrows.


!!! What a horrid thought!

[Pervomartovtsi]

he's the biological son and heir of Elvis and Nancy Sinatra :O

...and Michael Stipe and Robert Smith are his evil clones...

...and his favourite food is barbecue with blood sauce

that were all the secrets he told me while being drunk when we celebrated his 50th birthday(OH you didn't knew this also, he's 50 not 47)

[Puddle]

His first sexual encounter was at age 17 with a handsome headmaster and the headmaster's wife (herself a school teacher).

[Morrissey Mailer]

That he's still madly in love with Johnny.

[veradicere]

And for a quick shag with Julia........

:D

while eating a bacon-mayo sandwhich on rye ;)

[veradicere]

Morrissey's biggest secret is...his genitalia really ARE the result of some cruel practical joke.


It would explain a lot wouldn't it?

[mauve21]

..".That he's as addicted to this website as all of us.

...That he frequently scours it with a fine-toothed comb himself, and comes up with contrived personalities to post on here with, just to throw us off the scent, heh, heh."

Oh, it's a really good fantasy. I find it hard to imagine though. I think his secret is unmentionable without
blushing !

[shakespeare's sister]

That he's still madly in love with Johnny.

yep, I would go for that as well! ;)

[DAnn Coulter]

Morrissey's biggest secret is...... that he likes to treat himself to some human-meat dinners from time to time. His favorite is young-man-pott-roast with a side of oven-roasted potatos and red wine.

Johnny Marr's secret is simple........He's a hermaphrodite!!! :eek:

[mjp]

I think some of these posts are hilarious - keep it up!

[Dupree]

All The Smiths lyrics are actually written by Mike Joyce, with the exception of Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others, which was written by Morrissey's mum.

[DAnn Coulter]

All The Smiths lyrics are actually written by Mike Joyce, with the exception of Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others, which was written by Morrissey's mum.

What are we doing here then? Let's all go start a Mike Joyce fan site! We're wasting our time here with a fraud.

[andy_fozzy]

Moz has a brother called Neil, who acts like a total knob-head on some old TV show (which wasn't funny).

[Harsh Truth]

Morrissey and (US Folk Singer) Bill Morrissey are actually the same person.

[sarahT]

Morrissey used to work behind the bar here as a teenager every Friday night and that's where he got his name.

http://www.pichotel.com/pic/1525JDNg7/45190.jpg

[Math Tinder]

"wide to receive" was a real love song to somebody he met on the internet.

Damn, that one's really good. Talk about 'never would have suspected'.

xo, math+

[Dupree]

What are we doing here then? Let's all go start a Mike Joyce fan site! We're wasting our time here with a fraud.

I vote we set up a Morrissey's Mum fan site!

[Dupree]

Morrissey's pen names include (but are not limited to) J K Rowling, J T Leroy and Noam Chomsky.

Oh, and Johnny Rogan.

[Freya]

All The Smiths lyrics are actually written by Mike Joyce, with the exception of Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others, which was written by Morrissey's mum.

It's a funny/horrible thought. Imagine what would happen within the fanbase, and worse, imagine Joyce singing all those songs! :eek:

[DAnn Coulter]

It's a funny/horrible thought. Imagine what would happen within the fanbase, and worse, imagine Joyce singing all those songs! :eek:


The thought of MeatHead Joyce as the lead singer of The Smiths and Moz in the back playing drums is beyond scary......Despite the great lyrics, the band would've been completely ignored under this scenario and we wouldn't be here today.

[Denia]

there really are explosive kegs between his legs and meanwhile we take it as a clever sexual innuendo, he's being held hostage by the taliban.

[Have-A-Go Merchant]

He only ever wanted to be a promotions girl/footballer's wife. This pop icon lark was just a sideline.

[JeanneDarc]

Biggest secret is that he's as straight as Bill Clinton.

[The Cat's Mother]

The practical joke statement makes me envisage the poor bloke being born with a Groucho Marx specs, nose and moustache in place of the usual equipment. Which could still explain a lot.

My own theory is that Morrissey secretly pens Coronation Street fanfiction, but seeing as I doubt he could resist the lure of the Mary-Sue (Or Morri-Sue in this case) trap, there'll be someone bearing a suspicious resemblance to himself, written in as an original character. Any bets he's Mayor of Weatherfield by now....

[veradicere]

..Alanis Morrissette is Morrissey's drag persona. (oh the horror!). ;)

[Helen]

He wears a wig.

[Busy Clippers]

He's a reality tv junkie: he feels slightly ashamed, but cannot look away.

or

He went to see "Riverdance" like 15 times.

[Zenith Nadir]

I suspect:

...That he's as addicted to this website as all of us.




and that he's read this thread at least a dozen times.

[lnathan]

Hehe...you guys are funny. I'm gonna like this place :-)

[igotpictures]

the biggest secret...!! theres is no secret :)

[Danielledelu]

It could be so many things, I really was wondering when i first heard in all the interviews about how " I can't tell you my biggest secret, cause it's still working to great effect" I think he might have just trying to be clever.

What if..

He hates to sing, but he loves money
( I doubt it)

He was a pathalogical liar
( that would be interesting)

He actully eats meat

so many horrid and halarious secrets I can imagine, my friend once put an image in my head, of him masturbating and crying while doing it, it was sad.. but lets not talk of such things, and I guess that woulden't be a secret, well it could be.

[the more you explore me!]

that his real name is graham and he has a tattoo of one of the pink elephants from the film Dumbo on his right bottom cheek, that he shakes in front of the mirror before going on stage and sings "pink elephants on parade" while drinking a babycham from a glass slipper!
he said it calms his nerves and improves his vocals!

[hatfull]

That he is a huge fan of 'Home and Away' and sets the Sky + every time he goes away so he never misses an episode. And he has a cat called Russell Brand. LOL!!!

[lnathan]

He was a pathalogical liar
( that would be interesting)



Oh I think he is. Well maybe not pathological, but he does lie a lot.

[lilikoi]

jeeez this thread is stuuuupid. his biggest secret propably is: he is just reading this thread and has decided he will move to the antarctis to flee from humanity because humans are just too silly to even sing to.

[drowning girl]

I would not be very surprised if one day it went public that he is secretly married since 1991 and has two kids. Sarah is 12 and Katherine 7...

But (very) probably there is not the least bit of a secret at all.

[shane sarabia]

To me morrissey's biggest secret would be that he really has no secret, because, maybe according to him "if you really listen to him you know all of him". And the things he has not said yet aren't really secrets because theyre his to keep and not for nosy, sick, and vile people like us.