Sorry, Red Lightning sucks

I pains me to post this, but there's so much hype flying around from Alain's groupies that it needs to be said. Red Lightning's "L.A. Crash Landing" EP is 10th rate 1980s crap. I heard more interesting music at Cleveland's last high school battle of the bands competition, and that was 15 year olds trying to sound like Good Charlotte.....

The best song is "Crushed," if you'd get excited by a Modern English or Flesh For Lulu B-side w/ a poor man's Ian McCulloch on vocals. That's the only song that might make me pause before thowing the CD out with the rubbish come Tuesday...although out with the rubbish it'll likely go.

The rest...it's almost shocking how weak it is, considering this guy's written many good songs for Morrissey. It makes me wonder how much Morrissey's various producers had to do with the quality of the music on Morrissey albums. I understand it's intending to be a stripped-down sound, but stripped-down doesn't have to mean generic and boringly mediocre. The most memorable musical moment is the opening of "I Miss You," but it's only memorable because it's lifting "Everyday Is Like Sunday." I'm sure Alain's alluding to "Sunday" on purpose, but to hear that intro followed by a crap song with crap lyrics and crap vocals is just sad.

Alain's voice is not very interesting and shouldn't be fronting a band. His lyrics are even less interesting. Here's an example of Alain getting deep: "Don't lose sight of who you are/it's not important to be a star/just be who you are," and, "Gotta wake up and embrace the day/take whatever life throws your way." Dial-a-cliche......

When Alain's trying to be clever he comes up with: "I like suits but I don't like ties/and this applies to life." Yeah...whatever. That comes late in the CD when you're already wondering why you're even trying to pay attention to the lyrics of an airhead.

Sorry, folks. Red Lightning thus far has little to offer. I post this so you're not as fooled as I was by the glowing reviews at CDBaby. Those reviews were posted by people with heavy crushes on Alain. They claim there's "amazing guitars," that you should buy "more than one copy" because it's a "brilliant album." They compare it with The Jam, Echo and the Bunnymen, and The Clash, and promise Red Lightning will make you cry and "penetrate not only your heart but your soul." Yeah...sure.

No surprise Red Lightning are not invited to open for Morrissey and that he's not name-dropped them a single time.

Poor Theo

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem...they are there every night, they see it done every night but they can't do it themselves.

You are aware, I hope, Theo that RL are not meant to be studied for a PhD...they are not an intellectual exercise...they are not the Velvet Underground or Aphex Twin...they are a rock 'n' roll band.

Alain isn't trying to write "deep" lyrics...he's writing about how he feels and about things that have affected him, openly and honestly. I can't see why you can't see that.

Oh, I can see why you wouldn't enjoy it...that is the wonder of music, I like this you like that. But I cannot, for the life of me, understand why you would write such a poisonous little tract.

Wait.

I get it now.

You're one of those "peculiar" Morrissey "fans" who don't like anyone that has left the Morrissey fold...

Baaa

Baaa

Johnny Marr bad Morrissey good.

Steven Street bad Morrissey good.

Mike Joyce bad Morrissey good.

Andy Rourke bad Morrissey good.

Spencer bad Morrissey good.

You sound ridiculous frankly.

Colonel Blimp

Nothing wrong with the man's opinion. Just because they're a rock and roll band doesn't mean you can't judge them.

I feel Elva Snow's 'Couldya' is better than anything on that EP.

i like Red Lightning EP, Alain's got lovely singing voice
and his compositions/gutars are strong as ever.
maybe Al's lyrics aren't that brilliant as Mozzers'
but nobody comes near on that to the Man anyway.

Colonel Blimp said:

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem...they are there every night, they see it done every night but they can't do it themselves.

You are aware, I hope, Theo that RL are not meant to be studied for a PhD...they are not an intellectual exercise...they are not the Velvet Underground or Aphex Twin...they are a rock 'n' roll band.

Alain isn't trying to write "deep" lyrics...he's writing about how he feels and about things that have affected him, openly and honestly. I can't see why you can't see that.

Oh, I can see why you wouldn't enjoy it...that is the wonder of music, I like this you like that. But I cannot, for the life of me, understand why you would write such a poisonous little tract.

Wait.

I get it now.

You're one of those "peculiar" Morrissey "fans" who don't like anyone that has left the Morrissey fold...

Baaa

Baaa

Johnny Marr bad Morrissey good.

Steven Street bad Morrissey good.

Mike Joyce bad Morrissey good.

Andy Rourke bad Morrissey good.

Spencer bad Morrissey good.

You sound ridiculous frankly.

Colonel Blimp

Click to expand...

Thank you Colonel! I agree that everyone is entitled to thier own opinion, but no need to be nasty.

hool' said:

i like Red Lightning EP, Alain's got lovely singing voice
and his compositions/gutars are strong as ever.
maybe Al's lyrics aren't that brilliant as Mozzers'
but nobody comes near on that to the Man anyway.

Click to expand...

He sounds semi-passable on "Crushed," but his singing voice is one of the big flaws on all the other songs. Leaves me cold. A cool voice is something I require from a pop band or there's no hope. Perhaps he'll raise the standards in other areas for the full length and it won't be quite as lame. *shrug*

I don't expect brilliant lyrics, and I also don't think shills should mislead people in reviews where you buy the CD. Cool lyrics and a cool voice is usually enough if everything else is good. Even when he does have some decent words to sing it doesn't work because of the way they're delivered. I like a lot of stripped down, straight-forward rock 'n' roll bands and there are many thousands who blow Red Lightning away so badly that I don't see who Red Lightning intends to impress...unless they dramatically improve. I'm listening to one this second called Sahara Hotnights where the lyrics are weak outside of a cool line or chorus here and there, but at least they rock with some distinction.

Well Theo, you obviously have about as much "talent" yourself, as the crack in my dogs ass. I rather enjoy Red Lightning and think it's wonderful that Alain is doing some new stuff w/a different band/ sound.

Problem is: Useless Shitstain ballbags such as yourself, don't realize this. You just like to post shit to get a response from people. Congrats, you win the prize!. By all means, continue making yourself look like a huge unwiped ass here, & we'll continue to not only demolish you for it, but know you have no f***ing clue as to what you're talking about.

Now, go back to worshipping : Blockparty/The Libertines and every other f***in shitty band, you go ga ga over, you no talent, nonsensical, useless, scrotum scrape.

Mr.Improper PIMP..mofo said:

Well Theo, you obviously have about as much "talent" yourself, as the crack in my dogs ass. I rather enjoy Red Lightning and think it's wonderful that Alain is doing some new stuff w/a different band/ sound.

Problem is: Useless Shitstain ballbags such as yourself, don't realize this. You just like to post shit to get a response from people. Congrats, you win the prize!. By all means, continue making yourself look like a huge unwiped ass here, & we'll continue to not only demolish you for it, but know you have no f***ing clue as to what you're talking about.

Now, go back to worshipping : Blockparty/The Libertines and every other f***in shitty band, you go ga ga over, you no talent, nonsensical, useless, scrotum scrape.

Click to expand...

Actually, I attacked the Libertines on this board a few days ago, and I've never heard Blockparty. You can go back to your Journey CDs now. I'm sure Red Lightning are the greatest artists of our time. If so, their critics can't hurt them.

Actually shitdick, I'm glad you trashed The Libertines, they truly are shitty.

You're correct, I dig Journey, and Van Halen and a few other '80s groups. Funny thing is though, There's not too many bands out there that have sold upwards of 80+ million records like Journey has?

Maybe Red Lightning will/will not get there? like i said, I think it's great that Alain is doing something, ON HIS OWN. Did i say they were the greatest artists of our time? not even close, but, they are good. But, you're too much of a f***in needledick to see/realize this yourself. Where's your cd? oh thats right, you don't have one. I doubt someone outside your dog would want anything to do with you? Instead of complimenting the guy, you're a f***ing useless pimple on the ass of your country, and bash him. Nothing wrong w/giving your opinion, but you didn't even see that this is Alain, not Morrissey who's putting out this wonderful music. Red Lightning is pretty good, I'm happy for Alain and the RL gang. Maybe he can get out of the Morrissey shadow now?

Now, go kill yourself?

But my poor, innocent Theo, wasn't it obvious to you, by the bits of screaming hyperbole you have quoted, that the reviews on CD baby and similar outlets are mostly written by the artistes' mates, mums and that bloke down the pub who owes the drummer fifty quid?? It's hardly the sort of place to look for an objective before-you-buy critique.

I think you're being a bit harsh on RL; they're not "brilliant" and Alain's lyrics are a bit creaky in places, but overall, they're a sound, workmanly outfit chucking out a very decent heft for a three-man operation. I'm hoping for a bit more musical originality on the full-length CD in June, but more than that, I'm hoping to get the chance to see them live, which is where I suspect their true strength lies.

Kate

xxx

I've heard the RL songs. They are fairly generic. While I wouldn't call them terrible, there is nothing special about them. If it wasn't Alain Whyte I don't think I'd have given them as much of a chance as I did and even with that they didn't win me over.

What surprises me is how ordinary these songs sound when Alain wrote my two favourite songs on ROTT (Pigsty, Far-off Places). He's written a ton of songs that I really love from a musical stand-point.

I am not one of those people who dislikes people no longer with Moz.

Johnny - Some great stuff with The The and others

Spencer - Some good stuff with Elva Snow

Street - Can't name anything he's done so I have no opinion

Joyce and Rourke - They really haven't done much that I can even name but they are both really good and I'd love to see them really get into a band that had a strong frontman.


I think Theo has been unfairly slammed for giving his review of RL.
If RL did not have Alain in the band, I don't think people here would be nearly as quick to defend them.

I also think its silly to say "Where's your CD?"

If the criteria for giving an opinion on music was whether or not you had your own CD on the market, 99.9% or more of the people here would never be able to comment on anything.

What's next? Someone says a Ford Escort is a piece of shit car and we aren't allowed to say that unless we too have put a car on the market?

And finally, I don't think someone needs to be called a bunch of names simply because they don't think RL is very good or that their lyrics are trite or their CD isn't worth owning.

Instead of attacking the critic, attack the criticism. When you simply attack the critic you only discredit yourself.

Hello, bored.

Yes, I think "ordinary" sums it up well re the majority of the songs on LA Crash Landing, unfortunately. That's not to the exclusion of them being enjoyable, though and I'm still going to buy the forthcoming CD to see what else Alain has up his sleeve.

I'm not slamming Theo, btw. I just disagree with the vehemence of his criticism, while agreeing with some of the points he made. I also think it's pretty naive to base any CD purchase on reviews that whiff so strongly of bias, so I feel that was a fair comment, too.

Cheers,

Kate

xxx

Theo said:

He sounds semi-passable on "Crushed," but his singing voice is one of the big flaws on all the other songs. Leaves me cold. A cool voice is something I require from a pop band or there's no hope. Perhaps he'll raise the standards in other areas for the full length and it won't be quite as lame. *shrug*

I don't expect brilliant lyrics, and I also don't think shills should mislead people in reviews where you buy the CD. Cool lyrics and a cool voice is usually enough if everything else is good. Even when he does have some decent words to sing it doesn't work because of the way they're delivered. I like a lot of stripped down, straight-forward rock 'n' roll bands and there are many thousands who blow Red Lightning away so badly that I don't see who Red Lightning intends to impress...unless they dramatically improve. I'm listening to one this second called Sahara Hotnights where the lyrics are weak outside of a cool line or chorus here and there, but at least they rock with some distinction.

Click to expand...

Well, it seems you are in the minority here in your feelings.

The Cat's Mother said:

Hello, bored.

I'm not slamming Theo, btw. I just disagree with the vehemence of his criticism, while agreeing with some of the points he made.

Click to expand...

I agree that the criticism was a bit over the top and when you consider the audience is a lot of people that like Alain not only as a musician but as a person, I can see why there was some pushback against Theo. It was the tact some people took that turned me off.

I will definitely give the new songs a chance. I wonder if Alain is trying so hard not to sound like he's still playing Morrissey songs that it's hindering the natural flow of the songwriting. To me, even if he's not a great lyricist or vocalist, he should still be able to lay down tracks that kick ass, especially without having to let the music take a bit of a step into the background like it does with Moz. He could be showcasing his guitar playing in a way that he doesn't get to with Morrissey.

bored said:

I've heard the RL songs. They are fairly generic. While I wouldn't call them terrible, there is nothing special about them. If it wasn't Alain Whyte I don't think I'd have given them as much of a chance as I did and even with that they didn't win me over.

What surprises me is how ordinary these songs sound when Alain wrote my two favourite songs on ROTT (Pigsty, Far-off Places). He's written a ton of songs that I really love from a musical stand-point.

I am not one of those people who dislikes people no longer with Moz.

Johnny - Some great stuff with The The and others

Click to expand...

Yeah, they're painfully ordinary. I suppose one can hear in the music of two songs - "Crushed" and "LA Crash Landing" (the outro of the latter is rather nice) - that Morrissey could've had his band work on them a bit more, and then have Steve Lillywhite work on them, and maybe Morrissey could've turned them into decent b-sides with his vocals and lyrics saving the day. And I'm glad Alain did not save his best material for Red Lightning rather than hand it over to Morrissey (a person on the old forum claimed otherwise, prompting me to order the CD).

I only like a few The The songs w/ Johnny. "Dogs of Lust" has long been a fave of mine, and portions of "Mind Bomb" are cool. I can only take so much of Matt Johnson though.

Now that you mention Johnny, it's interesting that The Healers have been viciously slammed here for 3 years. It's because one feels it's so under-achieving and un-ambitious, a feeling of "is that all there is" and "why's someone who's been so original now slumming it as a 2nd rate follower of Britpop"? And there as well Johnny Marr is a limited vocalist. Johnny has the right idea starting a band from scratch but IMO he should bring in a good female singer (female singers go well with his music). Yet, if Alain Whyte had done "Caught Up" (I use that song because it's a simple, unpretentious pop song) people on here would be saying how beautifully played and infectious it is. There's a higher standard for Marr than for Alain. With Alain it's like if your 17 year old cousin is fooling around in the garage on his first band and his family members wanna be supportive and encouraging. That's fine, but this is a public forum and not all of us are so nice. But then I've not been as mean as Pimp and WhyteGirl were to Jesse Tobias a few months back.

bored said:

I also think its silly to say "Where's your CD?"

If the criteria for giving an opinion on music was whether or not you had your own CD on the market, 99.9% or more of the people here would never be able to comment on anything.

What's next? Someone says a Ford Escort is a piece of shit car and we aren't allowed to say that unless we too have put a car on the market?

Click to expand...

Yeah, how do they criticize anything? I can't direct a Hollywood action movie so I'm not allowed to criticize one? You think the contestants on American Idol suck? Could YOU get up on stage before 50 million and sing better?? I'm pretty sure that would be harder for me than writing a song better than Red Lightning's "Something Out Of Nothing."

I've been fooling with a piano for just a year and I have an acoustic guitar that I can only play a few easy songs on, but I don't have ambitions in that direction. My piano is just for me to unwind with on my own. If I did want a band, I don't feel very confident I could self-release an EP that's better than "LA Crash Landing," (ANYONE CAN self-release a CD, however). Then again, I'm also not sure I couldn't...if I hooked up with the right people. It's not like we're talking about Hendrix's "Electric Ladyland" here. These are just simple, below-average pop songs that millions of people could equal or best and don't require extraordinary gifts of talent. Take "Sign Up." The music is so generic I've heard it a million times and really it's easy as hell to play and anyone could come up with it in an afternoon. Doesn't mean it's awful to listen to. The bassline's cool. (Though the lyrics ARE awful to listen to). Anyway, if music can't be attacked if it's better than Theo in Ohio could do, we're doomed.

Mr.Improper PIMP..tasteless in all things music said:

You're correct, I dig Journey, and Van Halen and a few other '80s groups. Funny thing is though, There's not too many bands out there that have sold upwards of 80+ million records like Journey has?

Click to expand...

So they're good because they sold 80+ million? If you dig Journey that's fine I guess. We all have our eccentricities. Next time you imitate Steve Perry in your mirror as you sing "Don't Stop Believing," I hope your thoughts will be towards the plight of the Cleveland Indians. I've not stopped believing.

You say I'm jumping on bandwagons yet it was you peddling the Kaiser Chiefs. I'd take the Libertines over them any day.

There's nothing wrong with liking Van Halen as long as it's pre-Hagar.

Mr.Improper PIMP..with Alain's dick in his mouth said:

I think it's great that Alain is doing something, ON HIS OWN. Did i say they were the greatest artists of our time? not even close, but, they are good.

Click to expand...

I was just plagiarizing Morrissey's review of 50 Cent when I asked if they were the greatest artists of our age. 50 Cent is better than Red Lightning. Why isn't Red Lightning opening for Morrissey? Or on his intro tape?

I can't judge because I have never heard them. Do they have a site where you can hear a sample? Who sings for the group anyhow? I thought I heard in an interview that Alain was...

zom

Theo is taking a slam here for stating well thought-out, valid truisms in his review of Red Lightning. He could have ended it with "Red Lightning sucks," but he thought out his opinions and stated them clearly. Excellent point about the standards for Marr and Whyte, by the way. That is absolutely true.

I know people complain all the time about Moz's collaborators, but it really is time for a change. Gary Day sucks, Boz Boorer is past his prime, and Alain Whyte is very unremarkable. Morrissey deserves so much better - when I listen to a luscious, shimmering Smiths riff and then some inaudible Southpaw Grammar riff, I shudder.

I don't want a Smiths reunion. But I do want some new blood in the Morrissey band. His voice keeps getting better, and I think his lyrics, while not up to par with his past projects, are still top-notch. All he needs are some above-average musicians, and the man is golden. These guys are truly holding him back.

As for Red Lightning, they will never go anywhere. Nobody wants to hear them.

I must disagree, Theo.

I do not have a crush on Alain Whyte.
I do, however, enjoy Red Lightning a great deal. I find the music breezy, light, and catchy - not all music has to channel Morrissey to be good (even though it helps, I daresay)

I have a different take on something else you mentioned: Maybe, just maybe, Morrissey hasn't mentioned Alain Whyte or his band because our dear Alain wants to distance himself - just a bit - from Morrissey-land and make it on his own... Sort of like a mother cutting the apron strings a bit.

I wish Alain nothing but the absolute best, and I have the most absolute faith that Red Lighting will continue to flourish, gaining new fans by the day.