View Full Version : Posers and imitators: Not Morrissey
January 7, 2000, 02:51 AM
I have been a quiet reader for some time but now I must respond...Like Mike I have enjoyed Greasetea's idiocy because he is like a stock character but I think Sleep Around the clock is ripping his character off.
Then you have the two screamers on this site: one is a pale comparison and the other one is actually witty
Then the jellybean pictures versus the suzanne drawings: both are funny and weird. But please, some originality. Stop stealing from the originators. ...and to those in Chi-town, I'll see you at his show!
January 7, 2000, 04:06 AM
> I have been a quiet reader for some time but now I must
> respond...Like Mike I have enjoyed Greasetea's idiocy because he
> is like a stock character but I think Sleep Around the clock is
> ripping his character off.
Oh, who can tell?
> Then you have the two screamers on this site: one is a pale
> comparison and the other one is actually witty
> Then the jellybean pictures versus the suzanne drawings: both
> are funny and weird. But please, some originality. Stop stealing
> from the originators. ...
Dude, what is this? People have been putting pictures on their posts since the day we were allowed to pull it off. And I have put some of these exact pictures up here several months ago....Jerry Lewis had been here once as well as a few others. If you dare, you can go through my website to find them...under the old artwork section.
Hey, does anyone want to rip off my web site? I've got loads of bad music. I'm sure someone has some real audio of their sitar music that I can claim they stole from me.
leave your brain at the door (http://home1.gte.net/suzsch/index.htm)
January 7, 2000, 04:24 AM
> Oh, who can tell?
> Hey, does anyone want to rip off my web site?
Suzanne darling you apparently missed the point but why..oh why are we even going on about this boring crap anyhow?
January 7, 2000, 04:32 AM
Look you dilweed, you apparently have to get over yourself and your lousy ego you monkeypiss! So why don't you shut your damn piece of rutabega pie-hole, grab a freakin rope and hang yourself by your thumbs!
Or better yet, take that thumb and poke your damn eye out and then rip out your tongue so you can be the blind and mute witness you crack-hoochie! Why don't you stick your damn head in a food dehydrator and then eat your face you jerk!
January 8, 2000, 01:46 AM
> Look you dilweed, you apparently have to get over yourself and
> your lousy ego you monkeypiss! So why don't you shut your damn
> piece of rutabega pie-hole, grab a freakin rope and hang
> yourself by your thumbs!
> Or better yet, take that thumb and poke your damn eye out and
> then rip out your tongue so you can be the blind and mute
> witness you crack-hoochie! Why don't you stick your damn head in
> a food dehydrator and then eat your face you jerk!
> Moz rules!
Are you, perchance, related to REVENGE OF THE RIGHTEOUS?
January 8, 2000, 07:03 PM
But I have a joke and a picture for you...
It's kind of a dirty joke though, so only read on if you don't mind that sort of thing. I was told this in a bar the other night and I thought it was hilarious! Try to picture it as we go along. It loses a lot without the inflections and gesticulation, but I think it's pretty funny nevertheless.
There was once a very little gay bird who fell in love with a very large non-gay elephant. Now, this homosexual bird wanted DESperately to have sex with this elephant, but the elephant would always become very irritated with this tiny little bird's advances and threaten to smash him if he didn't go away.
Always, everyday, this bird would come and fly all around the elephant, begging, pestering him; the bird wanted to make love to this elephant - "Just once. Please, just once." As the elephant ate, drank, and tried to sleep, the little bird would buzz around him, talking about the joys of anal sex, and what WONderful lovers birds are. The tiny bird would swoop down, just as the elephant was falling asleep, and he would whisper obscene things into those large, sexy elephant ears. The elephant tried and tried to catch the nimble bird, but - being an elephant - he was too big, and too slow.
As the days wore on, the tiny bird had become more brazen in his vaunting and had started boasting of his "enormous" penis; and the elephant could hardly take it anymore. He hadn't had a moment of peace since this pushy little bird entered his life, and he decided that he would do ANything to have him out.
Finally, as the sexed up little bird was continuing his barrage of sexual comments and imploring, the elephant said:
"Okay. Alright. You win. I'll let you have me."
The bird fluttered to the ground before the elephant; his beak open and eyes wide in astonishment.
"You've been telling me that you wanted only one time with me. One time!"
The excited bird, with breathless anticipation forced out a quick, airy, "yeh, yeh...," while nodding his head very quickly and smiling.
The elephant realized that he would never feel anything from the bird's penetration, and he thought about how humiliation was definitely a price worth paying to have this dreadful bird out of his life forever.
"Alright. Go ahead then. Take it." And the elephant slooowly turned around, pointing his gigantic rear end towards the little bird still stood on the ground. "But remember, after this once, you go away forever. You go find yourself another elephant. Understood?"
"Yeh, yeh..." Then the bird licked his beak and approached the elephant's enormous rump, breathing heavily, with a terrible throbbing between his skinny bird legs. "I'm gonna @#!!! you like you've never been @#!!!ed before... so get ready you big bad-ass elephant," said the bird in a slight country drawl. The bird, with a feigned air of extreme virility inhaled and expanded his chest. He walked slowly toward the elephant, cocking his beak slightly upward, enjoying every moment of this victory. With a flap of his wings, the bird lifted himself off the ground, backed away from the elephant, then flew full force at him, penetrating him.
From a short distance away, a monkey in a tree was watching the whole thing and was laughing uncontrollably; he was laughing so hard, he almost fell out of the tree. This monkey had seen the bird courting the elephant, and had watched this day's developments from the beginning. But what he found funniest of all, was the look of exhaustion and indifference on the elephant's face as the frenzied bird pumped away at his rear. The elephant stood there, very still, while behind him was a tiny little bird, madly flapping his wings, losing feathers, breathing loudly and heavily in exaggerated ecstasy.
The monkey was laughing so hard, he couldn't contain himself. He climbed down to the ground and began hurling stones at the elephant as he laughed and laughed. Each stone hit its mark, striking the elephant right on his head.
As each painful stone struck his face, the elephant started and said, "Ow. Ow. Oh. Ow. Ow."
The little bird heard this and immediately screamed as he continued his thrusts, "TAKE IT ALL, BITCH!!!"
January 9, 2000, 04:15 AM
Hey! Thanks for the pic, as always the lovely Audrey!!!!
Here's a joke for you as well. Not as long, but it's dirty yet cute...
There was once this very religious newlywed couple. They were so prudish, they couldn't even bring themselves to say phrases for the act of having sex. So, to subsitute for this, they refered to "the act" in a secret code, using the words of appliances to refer to sexual intercourse. Words such as "refrigerator", "dishwasher, and "blender" were often used to initiate an evening of hanky panky....
One night, the young wife was feeling rather tired and just wanted to go to sleep. The husband, however, had anything but sleep on his mind. "Hey honey...washing machine!! Washing machine!! C'mon!!"
"oh, honey, i'm really tired. How about another night sweetie?" replied the wife.
"Washing machine!! Washing machine honey please!!!" the exhasperated hubby pleaded.
"But dear, i'm simply too tired!! Some other night please!! Now goodnight!!!" the weary wife responded.
"Hmm. Okay. I'll be right back, sweetie." Hubby said, and he promptly went into the bathroom.
While he was away, the wife began to feel a little guilty and felt bad for turning her husband down. She ended up deciding that she and hubby would make hanky panky that night after all, as soon as he was finished in the bathroom.
So when he climbed back into bed, wifey said "hey honey...washing machine!! washing machine!!"
To this hubby responded; "oh, it was a small load honey, i did it by hand."
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