freudian mine field
January 13, 2003, 07:49 PM
amount of ruined shirts:143
amount of crew fired:1
duration of filming: 18 months
[moz kept disappearing]
amount times morrissey said:''im sorry this contract is terminated'':2
number of people head-butted by morrisseys mother:5
we find morrissey sitting on a picnic blanket beside a gloomy reservoir,
facing the sunset alone,
with some dry cake and an orange.
he eats it with the peel on.
[he wouldnt want to enjoy it too much]
the song begins,
he launches into his usual gyrations...
ooooooh,
ahhh,
[cut to soft focus scene of moz festooned with kittens]
moz yodels and wails for a seemingly inordinate amount of time,
and a sighing audience put on their collective kettle.
but lo!
what is this?
a jag comes cruising slowly towards him,
[of course its big and red]
running over his hamper,
it grinds to a stop on top of his thermos flask.
showering moz in shards of plastic.
oh frightening! oh how exciting!
camera cuts to interior of car:
we see four shady teddy boys holding a sack,
[cut to scene of moz,one eyebrow raised, hes torn between opposing urges:wanting to run
yet at the same time wanting to know the touch of all those manly hands]
morrissey lies down on the pebbles as his worst nightmare/deepest fantasy comes true...
the teddy boys leap into action,
grabbing moz roughly,
relieving him of his shirt,
[well it wouldnt be natural to keep it on]
hes bundled up and tied onto the roof rack,[looking strangely blissful]
and driven away in a cloud of dust...
[cut to scene of morrissey rolling in some hay with a small lamb while wearing a vegi propaganda t shirt]
the video ends,
leaving us none the wiser about the mysterious moz,
or indeed hector.
[and quite possibly a little bit angry]
amount of crew fired:1
duration of filming: 18 months
[moz kept disappearing]
amount times morrissey said:''im sorry this contract is terminated'':2
number of people head-butted by morrisseys mother:5
we find morrissey sitting on a picnic blanket beside a gloomy reservoir,
facing the sunset alone,
with some dry cake and an orange.
he eats it with the peel on.
[he wouldnt want to enjoy it too much]
the song begins,
he launches into his usual gyrations...
ooooooh,
ahhh,
[cut to soft focus scene of moz festooned with kittens]
moz yodels and wails for a seemingly inordinate amount of time,
and a sighing audience put on their collective kettle.
but lo!
what is this?
a jag comes cruising slowly towards him,
[of course its big and red]
running over his hamper,
it grinds to a stop on top of his thermos flask.
showering moz in shards of plastic.
oh frightening! oh how exciting!
camera cuts to interior of car:
we see four shady teddy boys holding a sack,
[cut to scene of moz,one eyebrow raised, hes torn between opposing urges:wanting to run
yet at the same time wanting to know the touch of all those manly hands]
morrissey lies down on the pebbles as his worst nightmare/deepest fantasy comes true...
the teddy boys leap into action,
grabbing moz roughly,
relieving him of his shirt,
[well it wouldnt be natural to keep it on]
hes bundled up and tied onto the roof rack,[looking strangely blissful]
and driven away in a cloud of dust...
[cut to scene of morrissey rolling in some hay with a small lamb while wearing a vegi propaganda t shirt]
the video ends,
leaving us none the wiser about the mysterious moz,
or indeed hector.
[and quite possibly a little bit angry]