The Moz/Smiths Top 100, Part 256: LIFEGUARD ON DUTY

[Houdini]

In 2007, and early 2008, we put up polls for all 234 then released Morrissey and The Smiths-songs. More than 25,000 votes were cast and the result was The Morrissey/Smiths Top 100 (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=83646), or indeed, The Morrissey/The Smiths Top 234. This year many people have asked me to continue with the polls as 18 new Morrissey-songs have been released since. With the release of 'Swords' now seems as good a time as any to start them.

Now that we've done all the new songs from 2009, and the older songs released this year, and with no foreseeable new songs in the near future, to finish these series off we'll move to the unreleased (full) tracks that have emerged over the last couple of year, i.e. Born To Hang, Happy Lovers United, I'm Playing Easy To Get, Lifeguard On Duty, Oh Phoney, Please help The Cause Against Loneliness and Striptease With A Difference, in that order.

Song 256: LIFEGUARD ON DUTY
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Voting should be something along these lines:
10: Perfection
9: Near perfect, brilliant
8: Really good Moz/Smiths song
7: Good Moz/Smiths song
6: OK, Nothing special
5: Uninspired
4: Poor
3: Bad
2: Should never have been released
1: He should be ashamed

Previous polls (voting will remain open):

Part 255: I'm Playing Easy To Get (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=106247)
Part 254: Happy Lovers United (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=106165)
Part 253: Born To Hang (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=106077)
Part 252: You Should Have been Nice To Me (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105995)
Part 251: Fantastic Bird (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105953)
Part 250: Honey, You Know Where To Find Me (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105885)
Part 249: I'm OK By Myself (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105803)
Part 248: Sorry Doesn't Help (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105755)
Part 247: You Were Good In Your Time (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105668)
Part 246: It's Not Your Birthday Anymore (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105571)
Part 245: One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105497)
Part 244: When Last I Spoke To Carol (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105427)
Part 243: Black Cloud (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105353)
Part 242: Mama Lay Softly On The Riverbed (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105251)
Part 241: Something Is Squeezing My Skull (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105160)
Part 240: Because Of My Poor Education (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=105059)
Part 239: Shame Is The Name (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=104966)
Part 238: I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=104804)
Part 237: My Dearest Love (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=104721)
Part 236: Drive-In Saturday (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=104628)
Part 235: Children In Pieces (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=104435)
Part 234: That's How People Grow Up (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=83114)
Part 233: All You Need Is Me (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=83041)
Part 232 and previous (http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showthread.php?t=82967)

[Freda]

when I first heard the song, I though it was a bit silly. now I find it lovely, nothing special though. gave it 8. :)

[Amy]

The whole song just goes nowhere. 3.

[celibate]

an 8

catchy tune [Alain's composer?] with jingle jangle close to Johnny's early Smiths tunes

Morrissey's voice and lyrics makes it sorta 'didn't we heard this one before'
but not annoying

[celibate]

The whole song just goes nowhere. 3.

care to elobarate on 'goes nowhere'

[mcrickson]

care to elobarate on 'goes nowhere'

You really seem to have a hard time when people have different opinions than you :D

[Gregor Samsa]

You really seem to have a hard time when people have different opinions than you :D

"Word"... My thought exactly.

I gave it a 7. Sounds very much like a whimsical Sarah Records-tune, but with far better lyrics than most Sarah releases.

[mcrickson]

On a separate note, looking at the news article on display in the video -- I never knew Richard Coles was a contender to be a collaborator with Morrissey. Surprising to me, indeed.

5ZXY7DJJKWk
(An episode of "Rock School" where the Communards play "Breadline Britain")

I was a fan of the Communards, but primarily for Richard Coles instrumental work. Jimmy Sommerville doesn't really do it for me, but I think paired they made a pretty effective duo. I imagine there could have been some fantastic work done had Coles been paired with Moz. Potential from an interesting turn from guitar-based music to possibly something cabaret-geared. :cool:

[Suedebread]

Yet another one I'd place somewhere between two numbers, but no .5's for us, so 8 :guitar:

[Thewlis]

an 8

catchy tune [Alain's composer?] with jingle jangle close to Johnny's early Smiths tunes


Think it's pre-Whyte (see YouTube-link above).
A rejected Street-composition.

Still better than many accepted Whyte-compositions.
7

[Dave]

7 is generous. It has a couple of interesting lines, bat on the collarbone and drenched in phlegm, but he's done it better. This is a good start but needs more, and it seems like maybe he just wasn't that interested in it.

"It's the only life I'll ever have
I'm always good I'm never bad" is not very good at all. I don't think he was very inspired.

Compare it to Honey, You Know Where To Find Me, which is much better, but still probably an 8, and there is no way this one ranks that high. Nice to have heard it though.

[MozIsGod]

Not too bad. Musically, I like it, but the lyrics could certainly have been improved on. Sounds like an out-take from the session that spawned the Playboys & Interesting Drug single and its b-sides.

[starless]

My favorite from the recently uncovered ones.